Hope you're all having a great 2006!

The podcast is still available on iTunes, however, and hopefully this search issue will be resolved soon.

Click here to Listen to "Pure Idiom Takes a Holiday"

Nathan, Scott and Tinkerbell are summoned to Vegas by the VRWC to stop blogger Laurence Simon from carrying out his plan to assassinate the top ten Pajamas Media bloggers and win big at the 2005 Vegas Celebrity Dead Pool competition. But not everything is what it seems, as Tinkerbell is used as bait to set an adorably fluffy trap and our Secret Agents are caught in the crossfire.

Pure Idiom Podcasts contain explicit language. All impersonations of people and depictions of places and events (real or otherwise) are entirely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. Special thanks to Tom Paine of the Shire Network News podcast and the Silent Running blog for appearing as the voice of Laurence Simon.

See you soon!

UPDATE:
Guest podcaster Tom Paine of Shire Network News and Silent Running fame will be joining us for our Holiday podcast.

I think it might even fit in a stocking, if it's loaded onto an iPod Nano first.

Click here to Listen to "Misery Loves Company: Part 2"

The plot follows our two secret agents of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (and Tinkerbell the talking cat) as they flee a crazed Harriet Miers and head to the Vast Right Wing Headquarters for help. Tinkerbell is mistaken for the latest piece of VRWC spyware, Scott confesses that he has a VRWC implant, Nathan learns the truth about Karl Rove, and President Bush and Dick Cheney explain how difficult it can be to keep a vast conspiracy running like a well-oiled machine.

Pure Idiom Podcasts contain explicit language. All impersonations of people and depictions of places and events (real or otherwise) are entirely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only.

We're hoping to have the next Pure Idiom podcast episode up and ready by next week, where our three protagonists visit the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Headquarters and find out that all is well within the world of political illusions.

Click here to Listen to "Misery Loves Company: Part 1"

Nathan and Tinkerbell use the Impossibility Engine to rescue Scott from his hellish Thanksgiving with his relatives in Texas, but when the relatives attack with a baseball bat, the Engine crashlands in Harriet Miers' backyard. Tinkerbell betrays the two humans for a saucer of milk and a tummy rub, and Harriet holds them all captive in a delusional attempt to force them to use the Impossibility Engine to change reality and make her the Chief Justice of the whole wide world!

Pure Idiom Podcasts contain explicit language. All impersonations of people and depictions of places and events (real or otherwise) are entirely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only.

Be patient because it'll take Emile an extra couple of days to edit out the 782 antagonistic questions I shouted out during the two days of presentations...

DID YOU TAKE PICTURES?
No, because podcasters are not photogenic. I'm a prime example of this axiom. So is the entire "Pod Squad," the gang of media darlings anointed by Adam Curry via frequent mentions on his Daily Source Code podcast.

DID YOU MEET ADAM CURRY?
No, because Curry was only at the Expo for the Friday night award show to pick up his award for being "podfather" and you had to e-mail the guy a request time with him prior to the Expo. Ditto for any other PodShow types. I only learned of this restriction by listening to his podcast on the plane ride to the expo...

The good news is that Curry is a normal sized guy and not some little five foot-tall shrimp like most celebs.

DID ANYTHING EXCITING HAPPEN?
Yes, click on the Extended Entry for more.

Glass sighed and looked down at his shoes. "Eric Rice," he muttered. "That cocksucker..."

Oh, speaking of:

This is "Madge," one of the anointed Pod Squaddies, who was in full please pay attention to me-mode at the Expo with a Podshow provided camera crew and PR handler. Personally, I was more fond this guy's schtick the first time I saw it 20 years ago from Barry Humphries' "Dame Edna" character.

Just before the lunch break, I saw this twelve year-old kid walking around the exhibition hall:

Since I only had a credit card and the expo's cafe only took cash, I beat the crap out of this kid and took a surprisingly large wad of cash he had in a money clip. After lunch, I attended a session on streaming media and found out that kid was actually Travis Kalanick, the CEO of the multimillion dollar bandwidth company Red Swoosh that has deals with DreamWorks, News Corp, uh-- and...

Well how the HELL was I supposed to know?

On the final day of the expo, I heard the best speech from this guy:

His name is Michael Geohegan (pronounced "Toe-NEE Zan-der-HOFF-en-bur-GER"). He is an insurance salesman that has networked his way into a lot of plum podcasting jobs that pay money. Geoghegan told podcasters that they should charge a minimum of $1,000 for sponsorships and said even that is "undervalued."

Holy shit, I liked that guy's attitude!

HOW WILL YOUR TRIP AFFECT PURE IDIOM?
I met with the Mark McCrery, the CEO of PodTrac, a service that has a better business model than the other copycat services I saw at the expo, and have aligned Pure Idiom with their service because it was free and Mark was nice enough to bail me out of the San Bernardino County Jail on Friday night. The lesson learned here was "don't give your business card to Scott."

I was also approached by John Mayerhofer, CEO of Voice Indigo, a company that distributes podcasts to the growing number of audio-capable mobile phones. I'll keep you posted on that one.

And since Nathan and I are both power users of M-Audio equipment, I'm pleased to have met with Tony McCall, VP of Consumer Sales at M-Audio, about a potential deal with his fine company. More on that deal later, but if you are a podcaster that is slowly killing your audience with shows hacked together on a $20 karaoke mic, you must check out M-Audio's newest product, Podcast Factory. Buy it and use it. The M-Audio Podcast Factory is perfection.

I'm wrapping up a two-day stint at the Portable Media/Podcasting Expo in California (or as Der Governator would say: "Colleeefournya"). The Expo is a place for podcasters to comisterate and talk about the future of the medium. Nathan's not here, so it's come down to me as the primary person (no cats are allowed the building) at Pure Idiom that can find some cigar-chomping suit from big company that we could sell out to, but so far I haven't found anyone that's buying.

Wanna hear some my adventures here at the Expo? Ironically, I don't have any portable recording equipment that would allow me to podcasting from the event.

I do have my digital camera and may take a few pictures before I leave today.

Stay tuned!

1. Mary Pat Campbell
2. Clinton Alvord
3. Don Ball
4. Stephen Aquila
5. Louise Swift

Each winner will receive a signed copy of Bruce Campbell's CD audiobook, "Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way", not to mention the warm fuzzy that goes with being the top five email entrants for our first-ever Pure Idiom giveaway!

As we said, the winning emails are to be posted to the website, so click on the link below and read, read, READ!

My last name is Campbell, and I have a kickass chin (see here).

Also, in the 80s, I wrote, directed, and starred in two sci-fi/horror features called: "D-Day: Disaster Day" (about Halley's Comet turning people from Strawberry Shortcake figurines to giants who happened to look like elementary school students, and then bringing the destruction of baking soda and vinegar on unsuspecting Monopoly houses) and "By the Light of Venus" (like =Mannequin=, but before =Mannequin=... It involved an earthquake attack, with grocery bag boulders, in the Metropolitan Museum of Art while my character, a revived ancient Egyptian queen, steals back her mirror from an exhibit. And I could freeze people into statues. And the light from the planet Venus killed me.)

Of course, it was on crappy video, and I was 10, so it's not about to show on the Sci-Fi Channel.

With all I share in common with Bruce Campbell, surely I deserve the book.

Clinton Alvord

My wife and I loved "The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr." back in the early 90's. When the series was over, we saw some of the other cast members getting work, but wondered about poor Bruce. Well, after a short time we started seeing Mr. Campbell showing up everywhere. It soon became a game. "Guess who I just saw on 'Ellen'?" or "Isn't that Bruce there in 'Spiderman'?" And the reply is always "Bruce? We never have to worry about Bruce. He's always doing something." So, now Bruce has an audio version of his latest book! See, we never have to worry about Bruce, but we'd sure love to have the CD!

Don Ball

Greetings To He Who Holds The Holy Inscription,

I am on a mission from the year 210 BC (Bruce Campbell) to collect true, genuine inscribed artifacts of His Great Holiest Of B-Movies and Highest of the Old-Film Messiahs - Bruce Campbell. It shall be placed on display with the utmost honor in the Bruce Campbell Hall Of Greatness in what was once known to your time frame as Lost Butt Hole Lake, Manitoba. I must have the item offered through peaceful persuasion via this email or our highly futuristic culture will then be forced to take it by any highly futuristic means possible. You have been warned. The Holy Commander is awaiting my transmission.

Stephen Aquila

There's a very simple reason that I should win the book. Not only do I think the Pure Idiom podcast rocks, but I also kill zombies. Yep, that's right. I participate in the popular (and free) MMORPG Urban Dead (www.urbandead.com), where I am a reasonably well-known and respected zombie hunter. Two of the biggest zombie hordes in the game target me first out of a crowded room...which I suppose is proof of that respect in a painful sort of way. My preferred weapon is the shotgun (because Bruce Campbell is the man), but it's hard to find ammo in-game so I generally just hack them to pieces with my axe (which I've nicknamed Ol' Drippy).

Of course, the game is nothing like real life. In real life, I would use my katana, and there's no way I would run low on ammo.

So, in conclusion, I urge you to pick the person that Bruce Campbell would pick: a zombie hunter with attitude and an appreciation for the finer boom sticks in life.

Louise Swift

I deserve to win Bruce Campbell’s audiobook because:

1.) I’ve never heard of Bruce Campbell, so this would be the perfect introduction (and when I googled his name, I saw that he's actually kind of cute).
2.) I just broke up with my boyfriend, so obviously any advice about love would be greatly appreciated at this time.
3.) I adore audiobooks because I don’t have a spare moment to sit and read anymore, and what could be better to listen to while I’m clinging for dear life to an NYC subway handrail than, well, the ramblings of a B-List celebrity?
4.) I loathe horror movies, but I love comedies (as long as they're not horrible comedies).
5.) I never win anything, and don’t you think it’s time that changed?

Pick me!

____________________

Mary Pat, your chin is divine. Clinton, we feel you deserve at least some compensation for sitting through even one episode of "Briscoe County, Jr.", not to mention the entire series. Don, uhm -- okay, you win, just promise you won't stop taking your meds. Stephen, anyone who can name, well, anything "Ol' Drippy" without a hint of irony is all right by us. And Louise, we like you, we really really like you!

Thanks for all your entries, and for listening to Pure Idiom. It's the crazies like you that keep us forever emboldened, inspired and slightly nervous.

We'll be contacting the winners shortly to gather mailing addresses, and then your signed audiobooks will be on their way. As Schmuley would say, "What, I should ka-nock you on the keppe?"

Click here to Listen to "Night of the Living Left: Part2".